pack leader (part II) – bare bones

wellies

I remember bits and pieces from my childhood.  My tween age years are somewhat of a blur also.  I flit, between fond memories and many that still cause me to feel sad.

I’m terrible with dates and until recently, it used to really bother me.  Now, I figure it doesn’t matter so much.  The reflection is either one that brings me a moment of joy or one from which a lesson can be learned.  In fact, the latter I have drawn inspiration from.  I choose to take FULL advantage of ALL my life experiences.  What is in the past is in the past and the date is not important.  It is a stamp on my timeline which, is all over the map.  Literally!  I decided one day that I would move to England.  The process between making the decision, sorting paperwork, accommodation and arriving, ticket in hand at the airport took less than three months.  It was the best decision.

I don’t know what it was that changed for me during that experience.  As well as meeting incredible people – my host family, my husband and his family included, I found myself on a journey of self-discovery.  Was it the English weather that changed my perspective or distancing myself from people and places that served as a constant reminder of all they deemed me to be?  Regardless, in a country rich in history I was able to start over with a clean slate.  No judgment.

Lesson from ‘The Four Agreements’ – Don Miguel Ruiz

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn’t agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.

Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.

Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?

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